Archive for the ‘Bad Church’ Category

Joel Osteen lied…

February 9, 2010

Or he told a mistake. One of the two. Perhaps, “mislead his flock by not studying to show himself a workman approved by God” would be better. I mean, that’s not news to most of us who strive to understand what Scripture says, with a basic understanding of theology, etc. So… do you remember when Joel Smiley said thus? (more…)

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This is my Bible. I am what it says I am…

January 11, 2010

Many of us have heard Joel Smiley’s opening. It goes a little something like this:

This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess my mind is alert, my heart is receptive; I’ll never be the same. In Jesus name, God bless you.

Yeah. Way too superficial don’t you think?  Let’s try cleaning it up a bit. First, one for the unsaved in the crowd:

This is a Bible. I am what it says I am, a filthy, wretched, God-hating sinner. I have what it says I have, a corrupt heart capable only of despising the Lord who made me and sustains me. I can do what it says I can do; works that even the best God sees as a used menstrual pad. Today I will be taught the word of God, but my hard heart will have none of the truth unless the grace of God should intervene. I boldly confess my mind is corrupt, my heart is depraved; I’ll never repent! In Jesus’ name, God bless you.

Now, the one for those few who watch Joel Smiley who are actually saved:

This is my Bible. I am what it says I am: a wretched sinner saved by the grace of God alone. I have what it says I have, a new nature, a new disposition, and eternal life. I can do what it says I can do: kill sin by the Spirit, grow in holiness, and do truly good works. Today I will be taught the Word of God. I boldly confess my mind is being renewed by the Word working of the Spirit, my heart is leaping for joy in the presence of the Word; I’ll never be forsaken as Jesus paid the price for my sins. In Jesus’ name, God bless you.

Well… there you have it! Seems much more clear and suited to the various needs of the congregation.

A Prophetic Word for Perry Noble, et. al.

December 11, 2009

THUS SAYS THE LORD!

The word of the LORD came to me: “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord GOD: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them. (more…)

Beautiful Who?

July 5, 2009

Ready… Aim… Fire!!

Going out Sacred Cow shooting and looks like I may have just got one. Big one too! It is tagged “Contemporary Worship Music.” Metaphor aside, in church during worship the song “Beautiful One” was sung. We sing this one often and to my shame I’ve never really thought about it much. Also to my shame I tend to just sing along and follow the bouncing ball on the screen without much consideration as to the lyrics and/or theology involved with the song. Tonight was different though, I found myself not just singing along mindlessly letting the mood and melody take me away, but really putting deep thought into worship. (Does that make me a bad Charismatic?) As the song was sung I read ahead in the lyrics before I sang them to see if I actually COULD in a sense of worship to the Triune God. Turns out that the song “Beautiful One” flat out will not let me! Honestly, I don’t think it can even classify as a worship song!

Bold claim! Better back it up, huh? Let’s look at the Word and the words and I’ll explain.

(more…)

An Open Letter to Joel Osteen

May 6, 2009

Mr. Joel Osteen,

I will not waste your time, nor mine, with undeserved pleasantries.[1]

I hate your message. What you preach is not the gospel found in holy scripture[2]. What you preach is a different gospel which is no gospel. It is man-pleasing at its best and heretical and blasphemous at its worst.[3] Those who follow you will find themselves hearing the saddest words ever spoken on the Great Day, “Depart from me. I never knew you.”[4] Even worse, those who would hear such a false gospel and one day fall away from it will then be in worse state than ever and it would be better had they never entertained your idea of “salvation.”[5]

I am shocked and appalled that you, who call yourself a pastor, would take pride in hardly using Scripture. Further, I am down-right livid you would place your “Notes of Encouragement” alongside Scripture. It is obvious by your preaching[6] that you do not understand the Scriptures[7]. The fact that you jokingly ask your congregation not to be rebellious while violating Scripture[8] is not just sad, but damning[9].

You claim to give people hope, but the hope you give is no hope at all. The hope you give makes this world just a better place to go to Hell from. It is a hope which you will gladly give to anyone, but the hope is devoid of the resurrected Jesus which is true hope.[10]

Let me ask you, would any one die for what you are preaching? Would the Christians in North Korea, China, India, and the Middle East be martyred so that others can live their best life now? No sir. They would not. At no point in Christian history has any martyr gone to glory cheering how he or she had become a better them and loved their life. No sir. They despised even the garment stained by flesh.[11]

I close with this as I can no longer bear to examine the damnable heresy you preach: Repent! You, who call yourself a pastor, face strict judgement[12]. You have taken the birthright that is the gospel and traded it for the porridge of worldly self-esteem, self-help, and works-righteousness. Because of that God hates you.[13] Your false teaching of wealth and the best to Christians is false teaching and explicitly warned about in Scripture.[14] Repent of your damnable, heretical false doctrine before your heart becomes like that of Pharaoh, hard and impenitent[15]. Today you have heard (through Scripture) the voice of God. Do not harden your heart![16] Believe in the only Gospel that can save! Preach the only Gospel that can save!

His Unworthy Slave,
Berry Davis 

 

[1] 2 John 10-11
[2] 1 Corinthians 15:1-8
[3] Galatians 1:6-10
[4] 2 Peter 2:20-21
[5] Matthew 7:21-23
[6] YouTube Video of Osteen preaching
[7] Acts 10:9-16, Acts 15:22-29
[8] 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
[9] 1 Timothy 4:1-5
[10] 1 Corinthians 15:12-191 Timothy 4:10
[11] Jude 1:23 
[12] James 3:1
[13] Genesis 25:29-34 with Romans 9:13, Ezekiel 34:1-10
[14] 1 Timothy 6:3-10
[15] See Exodus 4-14
[16] Psalm 95:6-9 

Just a thought…

April 21, 2009

Perhaps the body of Christ would be better served by more preaching and fewer dramas.

Well… That guy’s body would DEFINITELY be better served by more preaching and fewer dramas.

Quotes (83)

April 1, 2009

If anyone shall say that by faith alone the sinner is justified, so as to understand that nothing else is required to cooperate in the attainment of grace of justification, and that it is in no way necessary that he be prepared and disposed by the action of his own will: let him be anathema [cursed].
— Council of Trent (1547)
((Never repealed or contradicted.))

 

That’s foolishness if I ever heard it.

Quotes (77)

March 26, 2009

It is often argued by youth leaders that gimmicks such as outrageous games are necessary to draw teens to youth group. But are they really? We cannot imagine the apostle Paul using these games to attract an audience to hear him preach. To use gross games and outrageous activities to get youth to youth group meetings implies a lack of faith in the work of the Holy Spirit, and a faulty reliance on the wisdom of man.
— Jim Bublitz

EXPOSED: Sunday School Musical

March 19, 2009

Thanks to A Little Leaven I was introduced to this little bit of skubalon:

Yeah… You just saw what you think you saw. Don’t gouge out your eyes just yet! It gets worse.

Thinking to myself, “Okay… there could be some redeeming value.” I went on ahead and checked out this movie on IMDB to see what the reviews said. Well… that wasn’t too encouraging because it only got 1.9/10 stars on (as of this writing) 146 votes.

Okay… but what do people know. So I thought to look into the writers a bit…

Uh…. WOW!

According to IMDB one of the writers, Rachel Goldenberg (who also directed), has worked as line producer on such family friendly film fare as Death Racers (Tagline: “It’s not about the speed…It’s about the BLOOD!”), for which she was also unit production manager, and 18 Year Old Virgin. Her resume also includes assistant directorial work on AVH: Alien vs. Hunter. A majority of this work is in conjunction with a studio called “The Asylum” which apparently specializes in low-budget cinematic swill.

The other writer, Ashley Holloway, is also in the mix of questionable taste. Her movies include the R-rated Fall Down Dead and The Alphabet Killer. Now… I do know that “House” (Ted Dekker) got an R-rating for it’s thrill level, so I gave a look at what garnered the R-ratings. “Violence, grisly images, a scene of strong sexuality, some nudity and language” and “language and some violence” respectively.

Furthermore…. The female lead, Candise Lakota, also had a part in the movie The Curse of Alcatraz.  Rated R for “violence, language and some drug use.” And this girl is singing “Come Thou Fount.”

Another actor, Dustin Fitzsimons, was brought along from 18 Year Old Virgin and Death Racers.

Parents, church members, youth with an ounce of discernment…. If your church decides to show this movie as some sort of movie night or fun night or at a lock-in, let the leaders know as soon as possible. This is, it seems, another clever ruse by Hollywood to worm its way into the church.

NOTE: I am unaware of a conversion happening for any of the aforementioned people between the making of any of those vile films and the making of Sunday School Musical. If it has, I would love to know so I can update this post as soon as possible with that good news and edit the blog appropriately.

An Open Letter to Sexy Churches

March 5, 2009

To Granger Community Chrurch (Granger, IN) , Mercy Church (Olathe, Kansas), Fellowship Church (Dallas, TX), Relevant Church (Tampa, FL), et. al.:

Please.

Stop. (more…)